Port O Johns

Ok so I’m about to leave and I started to think about what is it I am supposed to take away from this experience….what is it I was supposed to learn? When I look back on this what is going to be the one thing that sticks out in my mind….Hands down, the port o potty. A port o potty is like a gift and a curse all in one. A port o potty has the ability to put you through just about every human emotion possible You experience heartbreak when you find there’s no toilet paper, fear when your almost carried away in it (see Ode to Lieutenants Blog), happiness when you’ve been holding it all morning and one comes into view, disgust when you see what the last person left in it, inspired when you see the wisdom of those who have come before you written with flourish (and sometimes obscene pictures) upon its walls, and downright motivated when the stench is so bad you think your going to pass out from holding your breath. Here, I guess in retrospect the port o potty’s have not been that awful. Unlike your run of the mill nature park port o potty that hasn’t seen fresh water since the glaciers came through in the ice age, ours get changed pretty regularly. Oddly enough, besides construction, this is the only thing I notice the local population doing, what a shitty job (pun intended). You know when I first signed up for the military (enlisted) I took the ASVAB and scored not too shamefully yet when I went into the assignments wizard I was offered 2 jobs, Crane Operator or 75B (Administrative Specialist). Can I get a constipated look from the audience? Hmmmmm, let me think about this, 5 foot 3, 115 pound female…Crane Operator…..Secretary….Crane Operator….Secretary. Wow that’s a toughie there; can I hear the options again? I can imagine it went somewhat the same for Mr. Akbar….Terrorist Suicide bomber bastard…Fecal Matter Specialist…Terrorist Bastard….and so on.