Baa Baa Blog Sheep

Alright so yesterday I discovered it is entirely possible to play hangman for nearly 4 hours straight and have it be thoroughly entertaining, particularly when you are spanking your opponent like a porn star. I mean I seriously stomped this guy all night long at this game. He wasn’t about being a graceful loser, but then I do a little victory dance after each stomping so I guess that would make me a less than humble winner as well. What made it so much funnier was the fact that no matter what he came up with I would always win and he would always lose. The last game after he wasn’t able to guess one little word, he had no shame whatsoever with coming up with a 9 word phrase to try and stump the chump. Naturally I was able to figure it out and so then he insisted Jambalaya was not a word, my last victory was null and proceeded to check every online dictionary he could find to prove it (each time it became “two out of three have to say it’s a word, 3 of 3, ok 4 of 4…). He was like the little engine that could…it was kind of sexy. So anyway I got the rank sewn on my Kevlar finally after about 2 weeks of walking around still a lieutenant. Most of the time to avoid the hassle I’d salute other captains to avoid the explanation, but when I was feeling particularly redneck, I’d strut right past another captain looking straight at them waiting for one of them to be froggish enough to try and have a lieutenants ass for breakfast. No takers this week, well unless you want to count our Sergeant Major hehe. He walked outside this morning and I turned towards him my one black bar glistening with fresh morning dew. He threw up his hands and said… “Ahhh, I am so disappointed, here you turned around and I was waiting to see those brand new captain bars and all I get is one…I’m just so disappointed”. Naturally, not being one to like to be a disappointment I leaned in close and whispered conspiratorially, “Well SGM, (looked to my left and right as if to reveal a great secret) if you cross your eyes, there will be two.” It was refreshing to see that constipated look on someone else’s face for a change. I kill me sometimes, I really do.