So I am still here...

So I am still here, still bored and still with nothing interesting to blog about. I think I’ve run out of things to bitch about…Once I switched sections, CPT Crazy was out of my life, Linda Blair has gone on R&R, no latin night this week so DPDM is missing in action, my roomy is back but torturing another LT at the moment. The only stability I have in my life is Sandwich Man. I find it absolutely amazing how much English these guys actually understand. I mean I can’t understand practically a word of Bob’s English but he is fluent in mine. I came in to the DFAC a couple of days ago after shopping at the PX(post exchange), and he came over to chat and asked me what I had bought him. I laughed and told him that I had bought a t-shirt (yes you guessed it, the whose your baghdaddy t-shirt) but that it was small so I didn’t think it would fit him. He got a mischievous glint in his beady little eyes and made me turn from my normal creamy beige complexion to a fire engine red when he indicated he understood what I was implying when I said that he had no use for a small sized t-shirt. (Insert guilty flashback to the well-fed lawyer comment in Sandwich man blog). I hadn’t really been thinking about him being overweight, more chuckling at the thought of Bob strutting his stuff like a porn star with a skin tight whose your baghdaddy t-shirt on. (Another one of those hippo mating on the discovery channel moments). As my drill sergeant used to say: That’s wronger than two Chinese boy’s f-ing in a broom closet WITH SCUBA GEAR ON! I’m not really sure what could be “wronger” than anything that involves two boys, sex and scuba gear, but I’m sure a half naked gyrating Pakistani in a who’s your baghdaddy t-shirt falls somewhere in that realm. The military has all kinds of stupid sayings that manage to conjure up images that haunt you in so many ways. In honor of this I have decided to share a few…

I’m not going to tell you how to suck the egg. (gee, but we’ve already come this far…why stop now big daddy?)
An Army of One (yeah pretty soon that’s all that’s going to be left)
High speed, low drag (finally they are making a vibrator for the people)
Utilize the latrine (the professional Military way to take a whiz)
Screwed the pooch (I’m quite sure that this violates some military and animal rights laws).