Halloween Heist

Ok so Halloween is coming up right? My significant other informed me that due to Halloween falling on a Sunday the bible huggers on post have decided to move Halloween to Saturday, while the rest of the city continues to celebrate in on Sunday as planned. This amused me thinking that these people object to celebrating Halloween on Sunday due to it being a religious day. So in other words this it’s ok to cavort and worship this heathen holiday, just not on Sunday because that would be (long constipated silence)….bad. Hmmmm kay…. So my other is really excited about this idea as he star treks his way back 13 years daydreaming about the kind of score he could take in if he were so afforded this opportunity in his youth. Unfortunately for him, his five o clock shadow and Chevy truck idling nearby might cast some doubt on his passing for a 12 year old boy now-days. Attempting to bring him out of his weasly little voyage to the 80’s back into the adult world, I reminded him that it doesn’t mean twice the candy, that people aren’t gonna hand out candy on both days, so the yield remains the same. I could imagine his beady little eyes glistening as he typed to me his would-be plans. Describing in detail the benefits of the time to gathering ratio, he reasoned that with two days times three hours of gathering per day divided by the coverage area, one could get more bang for the buck. It was absolutely adorable and impossible not to be amused by his strategic investment banker approach for raping and pillaging neighborhood candy bowls with the precision of a bank robbing heist. I could imagine him and his little commando’s synchronizing watches and low crawling through fences in the race against the gathering clock. In my days we joked about changing costumes to try and sneak and extra treat in here and there. No, not my little Billy the kid, he was the Godfather of his little crime organization training his little thugs on tricks of the trade: mapping out houses (by rank of the occupant; higher the rank, the better the treat), sprinting from house to house, and studying trends in treat giving per house in previous years. I could imagine him the night after his heist, the neighborhood loan shark, wheeling and dealing, taking candy as collateral. Only a man…..lol