Back to Hell

Ok so after a little vacation I am back. At first I was a wee bit concerned that I wouldn't have any material for my blogs seeing as how most of the unit still remains forward...Oh foolish woman. So I get back and there's the rear detachment commander here. This is a rolly polly little man that has the same problem most of us below MAJ are afflicted with; the mistaken notion that we are more important than we actually are, we have a job, and generally what we do matters. I have heard rumors about this little turd burgular, but now I have witnessed first hand and know why he apparently drove the spouses back here insane (coincidentally I see no mechanical pencils handy for stabbing purposes). Its only been about a week and I have entertained stabbing myself with those damn pencils again. I must have asshole stapled to my forehead because this man already seems to hate me. I'm convinced it's not the same sort of homicidal hate that CPT Crazy exhibits towards me, its just a general sort of "cower beneath me insolent worthless pile of cowdung that I have a higher date of rank than". Nothing real real personal. So I get back and one of my jobs coming back is to produce a operations order (basically "The Plan") for a ceremony to "Uncase" our Battalion Colors. Basically this entails taking our unit flags out of a nasty dooky brown colored sack with a bunch of important people watching (the actual important people not the psuedo important people mentioned in the above example) and a bunch of soldiers standing tall and hating life for having to stand at parade rest for 15-20 minutes of their lives that they'll never get back. So the idea is to set up camouflage netting over the important people for cover so they dont...I dont know...blow away I guess. So I walk in to CPT Rolley Polley(again name changed to suit the individual)and ask if the rear detachment has maintained any of that Camo netting for me to accomplish this vital mission (Operation No Blow?) He heaves a big sigh and looks up with those squinty little eyes and says just like a valley girl "Yaaaeah". I was like "Ok well I'm gonna need it for the VIP area". Another sigh..."Your gonna have to coordinate with SFC RetiringsoIdontgive ashit, he signed for all that stuff". Right but we do have it, I asked in order to verify. Another sigh and in his best-I'm gonna say this very slow for you worthless pile of cowdung voice.-"Yes, your going to have to coordinate with SFC RetiringsoI..." Yeah cause CPT Blondie thought that she could just bend over and the Camo net would just fall out of her ass. Well of course I am going to coordinate with him asshole, I just want to hear you say its available to even coordinate for. And what the hell? I hate when people use unecessary words that make a simple task in to a complex event. I mean I dont say "SGT Spanky coordinate with the the city water company to deposit solid waste" no, I say "Hey flush the damn toilet after you take a crap dude" Coordinate with him for Camo net? How about "Me Captain, you SFC, give me the f-ing Camo net". I think for shits and giggles I'm gonna find some private so I can feel important too and send him to facilitate my coordination of the Camo net. Insane....