Monday, January 09, 2006

Ok so you know I had to rise from the dead and blog away when I heard about this….

Army Lowers Bar for Recruits:

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,78111,00.html?ESRC=army-a.nl

(insert constipated look here). Now I realize almost being carried away in a port o potty once may in some small way detract from the credibility of my opinion on this matter depending on your perspective (and perhaps use of hallucinogenic products), however…WTF over? It seems the good idea fairy has once again been on vacation in the white house. You may have seen her work during the early part of the war when we forgot to ask permission from Turkey to use their yellow brick road to get to Iraq before centering our entire operations plan around it. Could be me, maybe I’m an @sshole, but I’m not entirely sure the limits for legally brain dead aren’t already being waivered daily at recruiting stations round the country. Here’s to those special individuals who made the day of myself and others with their little engine that could attitudes and water boy enthusiasm…Here’s to the soldier(s) that…

1. Nair’ed his head rendering himself non deployable who thought this was a viable course of action since the bottle for this bikini waxing substance did not specifically state “Do not use on head”. This guy was probably one of those grubby little kids that used to eat the glue paste in kindergarten.

2. Got drunk on post (in the middle east), stole an army vehicle with a locked steering wheel and lost a game of chicken to a 10000 pound concrete barrier ten feet in front of him.

3. Got snagged by an errant piece of constantina wire trailing behind a vehicle going about 50 miles per hour and well…need I say more than theeeeee wheels on the truck went round and round…round and round…round and round OH the wheels on the….

4. Did I mention they promoted me to captain? Someone up there was smoking something good that day…Maybe some HERBAL tea? (wink wink, nudge nudge)

5. All those big bad apache helicopter pilots who have cost the army thousands of dollars scaring the cows into coma’s in this hills of Fort Hood. Eat more Chikin guys.
So now I’m in dallas and well…to be continued.

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