How am I?

Ok, so I was in the DFAC and I’m almost finished with my dinner and I’m studying this man known as CPT R, who at first seems pretty good looking but the more you look the surer you become that he’s gay despite the wedding ring. Everything about his mannerisms scream gay, but it could also be that he let the door slam in my face as he walked out in front of me once. So anyway he’s sitting with a bunch of other officers most I know by face and they all finish their chow and walk importantly past me. I am at this point studying my bean with bacon soup like it’s advanced calculus when suddenly I hear a female voice say “Hey how you doing LT?” I look up and it’s a LTC L. Now “How you doing” is a standard question senior captains and above always throw out that I never understood. There’s nothing that says I don’t give a shit like asking someone how they are doing as you breeze past them. There’s hardly enough time to say “Fine” or “Good” let alone how you’re really doing. Wouldn’t some of them get an earful if they actually waited around for a response.

“Well Maam, I hate my job so uh, nothing new there, I think I may have a yeast infection but I’m hoping if I ignore it, it’ll go away. I haven’t had sex in over a year so generally I’m kind of pissed off and horny.”

I mean I know no one really wants to hear all that, myself included, but the least they could do is not insult you with an inquiry about your well-being they obviously don’t give a rats ass about. Maybe I’m just feeling a little kinder and gentler like since I’m PMSing. I have always tried to make it a point never to do a drive by on a soldier unless I was prepared to stop and listen to how they really are. I usually give them my standard “howdy” or a “hey” with my 300 watt life is peachy prom queen smile. If they only knew. So I gave her my “fine” and threw in a “thank you” for her slight pause and returned to my soup, wondering why this woman talked to me. I don’t remember her, don’t think I’ve ever talked to her, (quick glance to the patch on my shoulder) nope she couldn’t have seen my patch. Was she just doing a random meet and greet the troopies? Who knows, maybe some bullshit female comraderie awakened in her and she wanted to reach out and bond. I was a blond, she was a blond; I was an officer, she was an officer; what more can two people have in common? Ok so maybe I’m reaching, but really I had nothing else to do.